I was skeptical at first, but I looked into it and, yes, that's Muhammad. I phoned up to check, and he told me he'd been looking for a way to make some extra bucks recently. I asked if his essays were any good, and he shouted 'I pity the fool!' before hanging up. Which, come to think of it, is what Mr. T says, not Muhammad. But anyway, I digress. I ordered a paper and it turned up a few days later, bang on time, although it was all curled up at the edges and did appear to have been used in a sex act.
I handed the paper in and went to a bar, where I felt very smart having avoided doing any work and only paying '1.50 for a 20-page essay. Woe for me, though, 'cause my tutor marched in and dragged me out by the ear, shouting 'What the bleedin' 'ell do you think you're doing, handing in this load of sh***?'. So it turned out the paper was only worthy of an F+ and I decided to phone Mr. Ali up and give him a piece of my tongue.
The moral of this story is: don't buy cheap essays from retired boxers with medical problems. I asked the bank to reverse the charge, but they said they couldn't help because I'd paid by posting cash in an envelope to a house in Hull, which is where Muhammad lives now. For anyone who doesn't know, Hull is in the North of England and widely known as the Monaco of Yorkshire, which is odd since Monaco is wealthy and sunny, and Hull is not. Anyway, I digress. Muhammad said I'd have to buy a refund ticket for '5, so I posted that off and I will keep you updated.
And now, in an attempt to keep this on-topic, relevant and - most importantly - on the board, I note that essay alliance has stopped working. Perhaps Mr. punched the keyboard too many times, mistaking it for his maid's head, and mistaking his fist for his voice, and thought he was talking to her about some kites.
Please don't delete this just because it's off-topic. It's more relevant than the thousands of posts by you know who, who seems very upset about you know what, and whose dog-walking business in Oz seems to be going down the pan x
