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Why you wish to pursue your studies in your chosen field/university - what benefits for your future?- SOP


Sleem Mohamed  1 | -   Student
Apr 06, 2018 | #1
Can you review my statement of purpose which is required to apply for a scholarship ?

Please state in no more than 250 words why you wish to pursue your studies in your chosen field/university and how you believe you can benefit personally and professionally from your studies in the future.

Egypt has adopted a promising vision for development, evidenced by the governmental plans to ameliorate the infrastructure of the country. I consider the cornerstone of my career is working in a major infrastructure project -Greater Cairo Metro Line no.3- so I seek to expand my knowledge in the field of engineering project management through this master course. It extensively reviews the different aspects of project management with compulsory and optional modules such as risk management, whole-life asset management and funding for projects, among other modules with special relevance to infrastructure projects. The University of XXXXX is one of the top universities not only in the UK but the world in civil engineering because of its academic reputation, research power, and highly qualified staff ensuring a world-class educational standard.

The University of XXXXX has a large number of international staff and students, and becoming a member of such a competent, wide society with the offered extracurricular activities and facilities forms a perfect environment to expand my personal network and to establish long-lasting relations with professors and colleagues from different backgrounds, which will aid to enrich my whole experience, enhance my communication, problem-solving and leadership skills and embrace a new perspective of life.

After completing this course, I intend to immediately return to Egypt and start an initiative where I can use my knowledge and network with local and international professionals to support governmental and private sectors in developing innovative solutions regarding planning, risk management and fundraising for mega and infrastructure projects.
FreelanceWriter  6 | 3089   ☆☆☆   Freelance Writer
Apr 07, 2018 | #2
"Ameliorate" isn't the word you want. Yes, it's a synonym for "improve," but not in that way: you'd modernize or rebuild infrastructure to "ameliorate" the problems posed by deteriorating roads and bridges, etc. While it's good to tie your statement to particulars about the program, it shouldn't sound like you're just cramming in those references or listing them merely for the sake of inclusion, because they already know what features their programs offer and they can immediately tell when someone is just trying to include that stuff in a superficial way.

Without knowing your age and level of professional experience, it's impossible to tell you whether it's completely appropriate to refer to the "cornerstone" of your career or just silly: If you've been an engineer for decades, that might be appropriate; but if you're still studying to become an engineer, it's ridiculously presumptuous. Either way, the word you want there is pinnacle, not "cornerstone" (which would be more appropriate referring to the most important part of a project, not a career).




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