The Rise of the Empty Noun

Every spring, the storm clouds gather, the wind blows stronger and tornadoes of varying intensity make life interesting here in Tornado Alley. In recent years, I've noticed weathermen, er, I mean weatherpersons, er, I mean meteorologists, describe these events in increasingly verbose terms. For example, it doesn't seem to just "rain" around here anymore, rather there is "thunderstorm activity" or "precipitation events."

According to Professor Calvin S. Brown's essay, "A Tale of Two Urban Areas" (Horizon, Autumn 1966, Vol. 8, No. 4, p. 120), this trend mirrors another that is taking place in academic writing circles wherein empty nouns are becoming commonplace, apparently in an effort to somehow "sound smarter." For instance, Brown reports that, "The announcers were merely falling in line with the latest big trend in English. It can be accurately described in what may someday become a rule of English grammar: use the noun that you really mean as an adjective, and let this adjective then modify some empty or redundant noun. In the language of educationists, this rule is already in effect. Not only have city and country been entirely replaced urban areas and rural areas, but the urban areas contain slum areas, and the rural areas contain wooded areas, and the parks in both have become recreational areas."

Speaking at the world-famous Big Apple-based Department of Redundancy Department in New York City, Professor Brown responded to criticisms of his analysis of the rise of the empty noun by stating, "It is as if a man packing something in a box hadto use all of the excelsior available." While Professor Brown concedes that television personalities have the weak excuse of having to fill up a certain number of on-air minutes, he argues that writers do not enjoy this excuse: "Most writers do not have the announcer's excuse. They are simply pompous, and in their minds, the more and bigger the words, the more impressive the statement will be. They utilize instead of use, and donate instead of give -- and even, in advanced cases, verbalize instead of talk. Since such expressions are impressive (if at all) by being out of the ordinary, once they become ordinary their point is lost, and those who use them come to consider them as normal English and the simpler words as somehow substandard."

Alas, this trend appears to be gaining momentum, especially in the schools where driving is no longer taught in favor of "driver education" and "programs for teaching driver education skills" (Brown, p. 120). Unless and until these trends are reversed, it is reasonable to predict that we can expect more of the same in the future. As Professor Brown concludes, "Once you double the padding, the possibilities become literally infinite. If two empty nouns can be used, why not three, or five, or seventeen?"

Nouns are complicated; the empty ones even more ; )

Nouns can be complicated, but it helps to understand the three main types: 1) hectares, 2) demijohns, and 3) a special class of professional nouns known as "pro-nouns." Each of these noun types has its own rules for usage, but they all share the same desire for their children to become better parts of speech than them.

I recently met another academic writer, which has never happened before, and he stated that he had no idea what nouns and adjectives were but that he knew how to use them. I was pretty surprised, but apparently that's more common with native English speakers than you'd think.

I say a young man about 12 or 13 years old while I was visiting my daughter's library recently and he looked confused so I asked if I could help him. He said he was looking for some book that I've never heard but so I asked him if it was fiction or nonfiction. He said, "What the difference?" Shades of Dewey Decimal...

Mighty bold prediction. Sure you want to go that far out on a limb?

I always wondered what it would be like to be a "branch" manager, so sure...

On a more serious note, extending oneself on potentially unsound woody structural boughs to excess can be life-threateningly dangerous practice (20 words!).

With a little practice ...

Well, they do always say that English is a constantly evolving language. So the writing rules are also expected to change over time. The empty nouns are now acceptable simply because it was made the norm due to constant usage. It is something similar to "If you keep telling a lie, it eventually becomes a truth." However, the empty noun will never make a person seem smarter since all he is doing is trying to confuse the person listening to him, who probably isn't that dumb to begin with. Most people see through the empty nouns anyway and call the speakers / writers on that error.

During the latest seminar conducted by British Council Asia, they encouraged the ESL teachers to not correct the errors of their students when it comes to their spoken English. That is because these constant corrections, the empty noun included, makes the learner shy when it comes to public speaking. This hinders his ability to gain confidence when speaking or writing in the language. So it is safe to assume that these empty noun concerns have no place in the world of modern and global English usage.

I'm sorry, but that really doesn't sound very sensible to me. Teachers aren't doing their ESL students any favors by ignoring their obvious mistakes, because most of them probably want to learn the language. By refraining from correcting them, what they're doing is allowing their students to build a false sense of confidence, because they'll have no idea that their spoken English is full of mistakes. Instead, the BCA should encourage and provide guidance for teachers about how to communicate constructive criticism in ways that promote learning rather than in ways that might embarrass their students for making understandable and predictable mistakes while learning a difficult new language. Teachers should simply be trained to issue their corrections in appropriate and respectful ways, and maybe to explain to their classes in advance that mistakes are to be expected, that there's no need for shame in that, and that by correcting their English in a learning environment, they're actually sparing them from embarrassing themselves, thinking that their English is much better than it really is when they try to use it in the real world.