I'm not too familiar with the policies of this forum, but you seem to have sincere questions, and sincerely need help. Have you considered a tutor to help you organize and write your dissertation?

I know that tutors can be expensive, but there are plenty of resources out there that teach you how to handle large amounts of research and writing. I know of one in particular, but that is because it is the system I used to help me get through graduate school.

It was so effective it's the method I'm using now to try to get work writing articles!