Attn customers of the essay writing websites

Now that it is busy-busy, here are some rules some of you "students-clients" in this retarded shadow industry might want to notice, so that we can all save some of our hair.

1. When you request a revision, don't just say "revise it." be detailed. your writer does not have a crystal ball.

2. writers aren't going to do your cover-page for you. a cover page consists of your name, your professor's name, the name of the course, the title, and the date, on a blank piece of paper. your writer is not supposed to have this information, anyway... though they might.

3. An annotated bibliography can take 3 or 4 extra pages, on average. when ordering, if you need an annotated bibliography, you need to order extra pages.

4. If the paper doesn't match your specs, change it on your own a little, before you go handing it back for revision. you know, you're not supposed to just hand it in, anyway. often, your professor is going to recognize your "voice"-- or the lack of it.

5. If you are dumb enough to just hand it in (and I know, most of you are), and your professor busts you, don't go crying to your writer, asking them to "change it into my own voice." your writer, and everyone else, is going to be howling with laughter at you at this point, for being such total dumb.

6. Don't be mean, sassy, or aggressive to your writer, even if they are mean and sassy to you. it may be hard to resist, but keep in mind: this is a person who may, depending on the company, have: your phone number, a copy of the paper you are going to try to pass off as your own, your school name, your username and password for your school databases, your name, your address, etc. so, big smiles.

7. Class textbooks are expensive, and nearly impossible to find in your writer's local library. remember, you are not in the same class with your writer. if you have a big, heavy, expensive, obscure class textbook that needs used, you are going to need to scan some pages from it.

8. If your assigned writer emails you a question, don't wait more than 24 hours to answer it. this is not like dropping off laundry. sometimes your writer may have a question, or need clarification on an issue before starting your paper.

That's the tip of the iceberg... thanks for listening.

WB, thanks for being a silent conduit. I was expecting you to wade in, calling me names--what a nice surprise.

right, the reference thing. a lot of customers want 15-25 references crammed into a 3 page paper-- it's ridiculously unrealistic. sometimes I think it's because they don't realize it's a research proposal. a lot of these are UK customers, though-- I think the system is more insane there re: sources. it really steams me when a customer returns an order for revision because it's APA instead of Chicago, or something-- really, you can't change this yourself? when did we learn referencing, junior high?

I can, with extreme difficulty, live with that. How about when customers complain that their instructions were not followed and send the research back for revision:

1) margins should be 1.5" and not the MS Office default
2) font should be xxx, not yyy

Customers, can't you just SELECT ALL and change the font yourself???!!!!

I've never had a paper returned for a font change, but I believe it's happened. seemingly, there is no end to what these people can't do for themselves. it's enough to make you want to cancel the order and post the paper on the web. if it weren't so snitchy and crybaby, I would do it often.

If you recall, you're the one who started attacking me, accusing me of being a "racist" simply because I expose foreigners who-among many other fraudulent practices-masquerade as "American" at the expense of unwitting customers. Let's not forget your wholly unprovoked "WB is an outsider who doesn't know anything" campaign, either.

If a post or thread is legitimate, I contribute accordingly.

Some customers believe that that they have not just purchase a service, but an academic writer-slave. They expect their slave to be at their beck and call 24/7 and, upon demand, jump through rings of fire.

A couple of days ago, this supposedly mature 50+ PhD customer instructed the writer to correspond with his/her thesis supervisor as if he were the customer him/herself. The writer refused and the customer had (what can only be described as) a psychotic meltdown. To say that she was abusive would be an understatement. We intervened on the side of the writer (the poor guy was really very polite throughout), cancelled the order and refunded the psycho. At the last count, 23 abusive emails to support. Last one was "jump in a lake you vindictive b@$%ch."

Customers - be nice. Few are going to allow you to abuse their writers. At the end of the day, a good writer is more valuable to us (companies in this business) than is one customer. Yes, we certainly value you and will do all that is possible to ensure your satisfaction, but WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO BE RUDE TO YOUR WRITER.

Reminds me of a conversation I overheard a few years back in a corridor:

STRESSED STUDENT: I handed in my essay yesterday but I've realised I should have used a different font, could I get it back from you and change it?

STRESSED LECTURER: No, **** off.

I think '**** off' about 100 times every day when dealing with whining students, but I've never actually said it. Yet.

If a specific citation style was requested, they have a right to a revision. That said, customers have no right to expect any revisions like that otherwise. In fact, I'll admit that in the States, we do not study citation style very much; it's something most of us have to become familiar with "on the job" and it can be a royal pain.

Also, customers should know that from our point of view, if you insist on any citation style that requires page numbers, you've just dramatically reduced the chances that some of us will bother taking your order. Let's say that I've written (literally) 100+ papers on Constitutional Law or Nursing or Criminal Justice or Business Management. After a dozen or so papers on very similar topics, I don't really have to look all that much up because even a dope like me can remember a few dozen books and journals in each of those topics including the names of authors and publication dates. Most of my A-quality essays on those topics are written without even glancing at any sources because I'm sure what I found there many times before is still there. I write the paper and then insert the appropriate in-text references for anything that requires a reference.

If you force me to actually dig up all those books and journals to find specific page numbers (and the first names and middle initials of every author), that paper just became much more of a pain that will waste a lot of time to find specific pages. If you're assigned MLA, you have no choice; if you're not, just let us choose what style to use. I cannot tell you how frustrating it is to see papers I could bang out at A-quality in an hour or two but with such specific demands for references that it's not worth the bother.

Also, if you submit 20 pages of your textbook in 20 individual scans (some of which can't even be viewed clearly or printed out), I click away from your paper as soon as I see a string of .gifs on the resource screen. That's also a shame because sometimes the choices customers make in submitting files is the hardest for them and also the least convenient for us.

Finally, if you clutter my account with a rewrite request asking for something (like a thesis statement) that's right there exactly where it should be because you haven't even bothered to read the paper you had me write for you, I'm sorry, but I just don't have the patience to respond except to clear it off my screen and refer you directly to customer service.

Bottom line is - you get what you pay for: if you pay cheap, you get cheap.

Best not to believe ANY advice on this forum - where any idiot can post any old lie and attempt to libel and abuse good companies, and say how great cheap trash companies are. Most essay writing comapanies are cheap in quality and price.

But ALWAYS a bibliography should come for free and not be part of the word count. The piece should be properly referenced too - Harvard if no other specification is made.

The fact is, some writers can be a pain and some clients can be a pain - just look at this forum.

But still, dwagster, VIOLIN...here we are...

unless it's annotated.


if you're in the UK.

...let's watch out for absolutes.

Yes Rusty, I agree - but then this site is full of those who think the entire world is absolutely American and therefore, somehow, every essay site in every other country must be negatively compared to US sites... as if they were the best!

Not true of course - because as I see it, most scam sites are in Asia and the USA (not the UK), and also, the standard of education in the UK is higher than the US too, so the written work will be of a higher standard.

But really, Harvard is standard except for APA which is often used in social sciences - but students should always state which type of referencing they want - and really, a bibliography OF ANY KIND should come for free. But then, maybe not with the cheap US sites...

Another couple of suggestions for customers:

When you send supplemental resource files, it can take the better part of a day before they actually become available to us on the company systems. If you already included the entire paper description in your order (which is always smart), we don't need a supplemental file with nothing but the exact same information. All you're doing is causing an unnecessary delay because if your order says that files are being sent, we can't start writing until we get them. For all we know, you're sending us essential files that are required for the paper.

Also, stop sending us "grading rubrics," especially for typical college essays. We don't need any help organizing papers properly, referencing our sources, or making sure that our grammar and spelling are correct for the same exact reason your car mechanic doesn't need your suggestions for holding a wrench or connecting a hose. Before you waste your time and ours and delay your paper by sending us rubrics as files, ask yourself whether there's really anything in the rubric that you think anybody who writes 3-4 (and often more) of these papers every single day for a living doesn't already know.

Finally, here's a trick you can use anytime you want to make sure that no writer ever takes your paper off the company boards: Don't include any information about what the paper is about in the boxes provided for ordering. Just use those boxes to tell us that all the necessary information will be sent as a file later. If you want to really make it absolutely impossible to write your paper, do that and then don't bother sending any files. Also, when you order clothes online, don't give them any item # or your size or color choice because that's just as great a way to order clothes. Just give them your credit card and ask them to send you "that shirt in your catalog."

Annotated bibliographies should not come for free. they should be extra pages, usu. 3-4 for about 11-15 sources.

the cheapest site I ever worked for was essaywriters.net... not a US site.


I find these useful for making subheadings.


these are the worst.

also, attn. company administrators--

as you can see above, your customers are 90% idiots-- ignorant, uneducated, inexperienced, nervous...

your writers, if you're in a somewhat legit company, are 90% experienced-- educated, creative, reasonably intelligent...

and yet, 90% of the time, if there is a dispute, there you are, on the side of the moronic customer, defending them to the end, right or wrong...

defending the short money at the expense of the long.

administrators-- in such cases, pray tell, wtf are you thinking?

Yes, the majority tend to side with the customers. Could very well be wrong but, I rather believe that it's because the administrators are, themselves, as uneducated as the customers. How does one even respond to "you forgot to cite Ibid in the bibliography. Please revise your work"?

Companies which are run by somewhat literate people tend to side with the writers, though.

Just a question.. So if I were to order an essay, would the reference list be included in the page count and be charged too? sorry for my newbie question here.

No, it would not be. Of course, it ultimately depends on the company you select but, in general - of course not!

thanks for clarifying WRT! =)

ask the company-- they all tend to have slightly different rules about revisions and formatting.

Then the students complain that they have no idea how the writer got the information to blackmail them with. Just to avoid such problems and to protect my writers, 1 tell them to refuse such requestr. If they choose todoit, my QAD isunder strict instructions to suspend the writer. Private data is private data. 1 will protect students fkreem themselves if I have to. oThey receivethe final paper sansa cover page. We also decline to place headers in the pages for the same reason.

Your best bet is to just find yourself a legitimate trustworthy writer first, so you don't have to worry so much about divulging your identity. If someone really wants to identify you, it's almost impossible to maintain your anonymity, even if you're using a generic email account. I know almost all of my clients' identities and many of them have offered me their institutional log-in info for me to access files for their projects, which I usually decline to use (for various reasons), unless it's really necessary.

This is true, but often violated by the third rate companies. They are the ones who tend to promise a free cover page with every order. An independent writer knows better than to create the cover page for the student. In fact, the header per page should also be done by the student, not the writer. Why? Consider that the student insists that the writer create the cover page (plus the header). They turn over vital private academic information to the writer, and then complain when the writer blackmails them for some reason. Who was the unthinking individual who did not consider the repercussions of willingly submitting what should be guarded data over to a complete stranger then just met online? When you turn over personal information of any sort, you violate your own privacy rules, all in the name of "convenience". Accept that there are times when you still have to do some work on your ordered paper, all for "data privacy" sake. Cover your butt or take the fire that comes aimed at it.