I don't have to "play" dumb
In my defense, I did score the highest SAT scores in the entire state of Oklahoma in 1977 (I know what you're thinking...but there were also some smart people back then -- really). Not to toot my own horn (beep, beep), I also scored highest on my MOS test (71C, stenographer) in the U.S. Army in 1972, was "Soldier of the Month" in
Soldier's Magazine, and was the youngest combat staff sergeant in the U.S. Army in 1973. Oh yeah, I came in 7th in my NCO Academy Class out of 32 soldiers at Ft. Campbell, Kentucky in 1974. I'm really proud of that...
Sigh. Those were the days.
p.s. I've also been decorated five times so I'm keeping the drones.
p.p.s. Send me your address, wordsies, and I'll send you some Johnny Walker Red.
p.p.p.s. Now, go fetch Grandpa another glass of bourbon.