Academic Thesis Writer: Oh hi... we're a company that writes model homework papers for students. We'd like to complain against our off-shore competitors who steal customers from us by being way cheaper.
Feds: .... what's the nature of your business again?
Thesis Writer: We.. write model papers for students. You know, answers to essay assignments given by teachers across all levels of education.
Feds: So you're a company that helps students cheat in their academics?
Thesis Writer: Oh goodness gracious, no. We write only model papers for our clients. It's what the answer is supposed to look like but they're not supposed to turn it in. They're just supposed to use it as a guide and make their own work while citing our work properly.
Feds: Riiight... so these students don't hand the papers that they buy from you for credit?
Thesis Writer: It's against our site's rules to do that.
Feds: Ok. We'll coordinate this concern with the Department of Education and get back to you.
Thesis Writer: What?!? What d'ya need to do that for?
Feds: *smirks* In case you haven't noticed, we're not idiots. Thanks for coming out in the open with all this information for us. Actually, we've been trying to bring down this nationwide scourge of academic fraud that our analysts say have been gravely affecting the economy by allowing people to obtain college degrees to get jobs that they're ultimately not qualified to do.
Thesis Writer: That's not fair!! You should be going after the off-shore companies, not ALL companies!!!
Feds: Err... are you serious? Off-shore companies are nearly impossible to bring down. That's why our directive is to eliminate all the local companies that we can get to first. Universities that we're coordinating with have all agreed to revoke the degrees of any of their graduates found guilty of cheating by using companies like yours. I'm going to have to ask for your records.
Thesis Writer: Oh.. but we don't keep records of our old clients anymore.. sorry.
Feds: Really? When were you last audited?
Thesis Writer: *gulp*
Feds: Yeah, I thought so. Thanks a lot. You'e coming here is such a breakthrough for us. :D
- to be continued...